Happy Hour for Sad People

by dba iNDiE ViGiL

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02:04
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03:03
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06:09
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01:55
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03:00
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credits

released July 13, 2016

Dedicated to Abi and Alicia, who gave me a ukulele for my 23rd birthday.

Odd tracks written by Joshua Zeitler.

All tracks performed by Joshua Zeitler (with a little more help from Alicia on track 12).

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dba iNDiE ViGiL Alma, Michigan

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Track Name: Summer of the Ukulele
today i'm 23 and i'm never free
i'm always workin' workin' workin'
but i've got a ukulele now
i've learned a couple songs
they tell me i'm ok
but to me it sounds a little wrong
well i guess it's just a matter of opinion

i'm livin' in the kinda town
where everybody knows
what cigarettes i smoke
and where i always know
who'll laugh at my jokes
and who won't
so i am happy
for now

i'm livin' in the kinda way
i go through most a pack a day
though i'd like to quit
without my nicotine fix
i catch me sayin' things i can't unsay
and i must admit
it's kinda nice to shit
at least twice a day
fuck it
Track Name: Happy Fucking Birthday, Dad
you are a dead man
you are a dead man with a dead heart and two dead lips
that say nothing true and nothing new
though sometimes they say "i love you"
i'm not quite sure what you think it'll do for a dead man

and your dead eyes see right through me
but your dead hands
can't quite find the strength to reach me
from that hole in the ground where you lie
sleeping dreaming screaming crying over dead plans

at least i'll never have to run away from a dead man
i'll be running circles 'round the grave of a dead man all my life
who knew it's such fun to play with a dead man
Track Name: Bipolar Order
some days i feel like i could never be who i need to be
and other days i'm jumpin' off the walls
i can't afford this back and forth
this trip around the carousel
though i know it's still turnin' when i'm gone

but oh i'm runnin' out
and oh i'm goin' south
but tomorrow i'll turn around

last week i thought the universe would never be the same again
though now it seems it's stood fast all along
if i can't find the keys to start my car today then how will i
ever find happiness at all?

but oh i'm runnin' out
and oh i'm goin' south
but tomorrow i'll turn around

some days i feel like i could never be who i need to be
though now i don't know who i am at all
Track Name: Love on the Border
i was cleanin' the blood off the light switch in the bathroom
thinkin' of all the vodka and the pills
this past week we've killed a gallon at least between us
yet somehow in the end we're thirsting still

because love is not enough
no it's not enough
oh love is not enough
it's something
it just can't be all we need

i was cleanin' the blood off the door frame to the front porch
thinkin' of all those cigarettes we smoked
this past week we've killed a carton at least between us
it's a miracle somehow we haven't choked

but i know love is not enough
no it's not enough
oh love is not enough
it's something
it just can't be all we need

i was scrubbin' the blood off the floorboards in the kitchen
kneelin' thinkin' of all the things you said to me before it happened
and all i could think i should've said was i love you i love you
but i know it still wouldn't change a thing

because love is not enough
no it's not enough
oh love is not enough
it's something
it just can't be all we need

no i said love is not enough
no it's not enough
oh love is not enough
it's something
it just can't be all we need
Track Name: Happy Ending
once upon a time there was a girl
her hair was long and black with so ever slight a curl
she'd say she was half mexican
though you'd never know it from her skin
i guess you could say she was pretty white for a half mexican

that girl learned pretty early meth was bad
it'd remind her of those first few years she didn't have her dad
but he's back now with her loving mother
her favorite sister's now her favorite brother
i guess you could say she had a pretty typical american childhood

but she'd dream about the day
she could look in the mirror and say

someday soon you'll have your happy ending
you'll have someone here who loves you more than anything or anyone
you'll have some money tucked away
you'll live to fight another day
you'll raise your head up from a soft pillow every morning

once upon a time there was a boy
his lips formed this half smile that most people would call coy
his heart worked so hard as he slept
you could see his veins pulse in his neck
i'm not exactly sure how healthy that is but i suppose it's charming

that boy had no real family or home
he spent some years in a rotting house with his estranged little brother alone
but when his dad came back a drunken prick
our boy defended himself with an ice pick
i guess you could call it dramatic irony that it went straight through his liver

but he'd dream about the day
he could look in the mirror and say

someday soon you'll have your happy ending
you'll have someone here who loves you more than anything or anyone
you'll have some money tucked away
you'll live to fight another day
you'll raise your head up from a soft pillow every morning

once upon a time that special girl
fell so hard in love with that special boy it forever changed her world
their financial need was so ardent
they went in together on an apartment
also some other weird random guy but that's not really important

well things may have been rocky for a while
but she never tired of makin' him make that cocky-assed half smile
people change all of the time
as long as they lived together everything would be fine
not exactly some magical fairy tale but i suppose it's something

he thought he'd finally found a way
to look her in the eyes and say

someday soon you'll have your happy ending
you'll have someone here who loves you more than anything or anyone
you'll have some money tucked away
you'll live to fight another day
you'll raise your head up from a soft pillow every morning

once upon a time that special girl
couldn't rationalize making that boy the center of her world
she got pissed when he got stoned
and he got pissed when she drank alone
i mean i know nobody's perfect and all that shit but you gotta make progress

so when that special boy went m.i.a.
so-called professionals showed up to take our special girl away
suddenly she found her vision clouded
by all the red flags she had previously doubted
like the fact that he once cooked meth with her ex yeah that's pretty fucked up

it just get harder as you age
to look in the mirror and say
day after day

someday you will have your happy ending
you'll have someone here who loves you more than anything or anyone
you'll have some money tucked away
you'll live to fight another day
you'll raise your head up from a soft pillow every morning

you simply have to find a way
to look in the mirror and say
day after day

someday you will have your happy ending
you'll have someone here who loves you more than anything or anyone
you'll have some money tucked away
you'll live to fight another day
you'll raise your head up from a soft pillow every morning
Track Name: Bliss Road
never thought i'd say i miss you after all you said to me
never thought i would feel sorry for who i turned out to be
but when i try to be my best you always catch me at my worst
and those thorns we stuck beneath our skin are always gonna hurt
i thought for all the things you gave up maybe pride could be my first
though i'm takin' bliss road southbound with the top down
i can't tell my mother i'm comin' home

thought i'd buy a little comfort in dogeared books and dvds
thought i'd find myself a lover but i couldn't feel a thing
took a crowbar to the couch and threw the wreckage by the road
ripped up the bible from the freezer scattered pages on the floor
well if you'd seen me do it could you still believe that i have grown?
though i'm takin' bliss road southbound with the top down
i won't tell my mother i'm comin' home

this crowded bar gets pretty lonely i wanna get back on the streets
paved with years of good intentions though they're rough and incomplete
i left behind the tinderbox of everything i own
pretty soon a spark will catch those ragged ill-fitting clothes
and i'm racing for the day we can forgive all that we owe
i'm takin' bliss road southbound with the top down
gonna tell my mother i'm comin' home
Track Name: The Hell Outta Dodge
last night i heard you talkin' couldn't make out what you said
i shoulda kept on walkin' but i listened in instead
'cause i wanted to know
wouldn't you want to know?

it turns out everybody wants to know what's goin' on in my bed
but none of them seems to know what's goin' wrong with my head
but i'd like to know
well wouldn't you like to know?

last night you were just another petal on the stem
but now i'm feeling plucky so you might get lucky
or you might just wind up dead
or maybe both
you never know with me
my bet's on both
if you wanna go with me just trust me leave me be
'cause it's prob'ly for the best

last night i heard you talkin' couldn't make out what you said
i shoulda kept on walkin' but i listened in instead
well now i know
now i fuckin' know

it turns out everybody wants to know what's goin' on in my bed
but none of them seems to know what's goin' wrong with my head
so please somebody help me out my hands are turnin' red
just don't get too close 'cause when this blows it's prob'ly for the best
if you're not near
because i never forgive myself for all these things i haven't done
just get the gun out of my hands and fuckin' run
Track Name: Winter of the Ukulele
i've accepted that tonight
it's so cold my fingertips will die
i've accepted that tomorrow
i'll walk more than i'll sleep
but the restless man inside my head
won't let me close my eyes for long
he just taps my skull with his pocket watch
and says you're doing it all wrong

well i tried taking steps forward
but the wind chill held me back
so i tried to just get over it
but now everything is numb
and these corporate motherfuckers
need some time to get their feet wet
so in the meantime i'll have to decide
which bills to pay this month

the desperate man inside my head
always urges me to glance up
on the chance of catching moon beams
through the windows of my eyes
but these clouds so black and pendulous
keep swallowing the shadows
and the feckless man inside my head
plots how and when i'll go

i try to pin the heavens up above me every night
but when i wake they're scattered all around me
and all my dreams are riddled with the flames of falling stars
but a wish's another name for blasphemy

i used to have close friends
'til i spent all my time obsessing
over stupid petty shit
i'd long forgot but not forgave
i would alienate anyone
who was weak enough to love me
now they're waiting for their chance
to finally piss upon my grave

and yet all i want from this short life
is for someone here to miss me
my name uttered in good company
oh maybe once a year
but the tactless man inside my head
asks, "who'd even know you're gone?
do you wanna fuckin' sober up
or spend your final days alone?"

i've so much love it spills out from my aching bleeding mouth
and fills the trash can clutched between my knees
for all the pricks and hypocrites who plague my waking hours
i hope that unlike me they'll be redeemed

i took a walk to clear my thoughts
of all the anxious voices
but the reckless man inside my head
was still beckoning me home
suddenly a light so pure and bright
froze me right where i was standing
i was straddling the railroad tracks
when i heard that whistle blow
Track Name: Is This How It Ends?
waking up too late again
in another place you shouldn't have been
and the bottle in front of you won't stop spinnin'

strugglin' to stand walkin' down the hall
with the palms of your hands flat against the wall
and the marks on the door don't mean nothin' at all

press your tongue to the backs of all of your teeth
stick your hands in your pockets for wallet and keys
but you're looking for a new recipe for disaster 'cause this one got old